The 66th Year in Heaven
Pst. Mrs. Susannah Funmilayo Morolayo Ayodele
When my Mom passed away, it marked the end of many things in my life. In my head, a lot of people passed and I closed many chapters. However, I made a promise to cherish the lessons my mom’s life taught me. Her passing caused me to reassess my priorities and change the way I channel my energy, giving my life a different meaning. Today would have been her 66th birthday, and I know if there’s ever a birthday celebration in heaven, she’d be at the forefront of the planning, singing, dancing and logistics.
I woke up feeling down yesterday, but I knew I needed to be strong for my brother, Olayinka, who is closest to my Mom and whose birthday is the day before hers. I didn’t want to start the week on a sad note, so I decided to document my thoughts on my mother’s 66th birthday in Heaven.
When someone dies, it is the living who bear the weight of the grief and pain, and must deliberately live through the memories they left behind. On this side of eternity, Death is more painful to the living than the dead. The sheer reality of transforming a physical reality into the mental realm takes a lot. It takes a measure of faith to live fully beyond grief, embracing the memories and taking it each step at a time. It takes a measure of faith.
Since the beginning of May, I knew this month would be emotionally challenging for our family because it is our usual month of carnival, which my mother would have celebrated with a Thanksgiving service or a small party to thank God for life. I never understood the point of these celebrations, but now I do. I now understand why we should celebrate our birthdays, have a photoshoot whenever we feel like it, declare a praise party whenever we want, and live life to the fullest.
As I write this article at 10:26 pm on May 7, 2023, I am overwhelmed with emotions. I have cried during worship, in the restroom during the service, and tonight. But this is not just about grief; it’s about the flood of sweet memories and unforgettable moments.
Among the many valuable lessons that my Mom taught me, I would like to focus on two. Firstly, she instilled in me the importance of passion and commitment. If you ask my friends and colleagues, they will tell you that my defining qualities are ENERGY & PASSION. She exemplified this by putting her heart and soul into everything she did, even if it was just a few things or with very few friends. Her energy and zeal for life continue to inspire me to this day.
Secondly, she taught me the value of objective loyalty. She was always truthful with those close to her, and her sincerity was evident in her refusal to engage in gossip or backbiting. While she wasn’t perfect, she modeled a sincere humanity that I strive to emulate. These lessons have shaped me in profound ways and I am forever grateful for her guidance.
She taught me to live each day as if it were my last and to avoid procrastination by living life to the fullest. Whatever needed to be done had to be done as soon as possible. I remember her having many arguments with my dad about this, because my Dad is on the cool and calm side of things. However, my mom, who ‘is’ a natural project manager who could get things done quickly by galvanizing people and resources.- hence, she managed practically all of the family’s project.
I am deeply grateful for the many ways my Mom encouraged and motivated our family to grow and thrive. She organized family photo shoots, inspired us [My Dad & My Brothers] to invest in properties and education.- I recall how I had failed one of my MBA courses and she pushed me to ensure I get her that degree as her 65th Birthday Gift.
Her vision was always focused on building a legacy that would endure beyond this lifetime. Her dedication to our family and her foresight in planning for the future have left an indelible mark on us. I am so thankful for the memories we made together and the values she instilled in us.
PS:
I remember an old picture frame of my grandmother that hung in our house for years. I never understood why my mother kept it for so long, reframed it, and strategically positioned it in the house. Now I do.
Mom, you will always hold a special place in my heart. I love you deeply and miss you greatly. Happy Birthday in Heaven, Momma